BOOO-OOOOOK!

Outfit Details:

A Plot to Love Dress: ModCloth (no longer available, but similar here, here and here)

Dream of the Crop Cardigan in Oatmeal: ModCloth (no longer available, other colors here)

No. 2 Necklace: Hello Holiday (no longer available, similar here)

Lady in Rad Boot in Ink: ModCloth

Tights: can't remember (similar here)

Belt: from another dress

I had to fit in a Hocus Pocus reference somewhere this season, and this dress is pretty perfect for it.  This is one of a few indisputably-autumnal dresses in my closet.  I'm sure I could find a way to wear it in the summertime too, but this print always seems slightly spooky to me, and the dress simply looks better with a cardigan and tights.  I wore this dress in a post back in March (in an admittedly similar way), but I'm kind of circling back to a lot of my early outfit posts and taking new photos, since I think the outdoor ones are nicer and everything.

It's kind of amazing when a good night's sleep makes all the difference.  I mentioned in my last post that I've been having trouble sleeping (and when I do, I've had some not-very-nice dreams).  It seems a lot of people around me are having similar issues, and a lot of people seem to be in a weird place, emotionally and mentally.  Although that's never a good thing, there is some comfort in commiserating.  It's nice to not feel so alone.  I keep seeing people posting about how we should choose to be happy.  Although that can be a bit of a struggle when you're going through something that's emotionally taxing or traumatic, I think there's a lot of truth in thinking that we make our own happiness.  I don't want to be dependent on someone else to make me feel complete or confident or joyous.  That comes from me, and the choices I make.  So I'm going to choose to be happy as much as I can.  :)  For instance, I'm happy about being able to spend time with friends this weekend, and to get dressed up (as if I needed an excuse!).  Change is really hard, but I'm ready to embrace the things that come along with that, and at the very least, try to make the best of every situation, and savor the joy that comes from that.

And in relation to that, I just want to express my gratitude for everyone who commented on my last post, and to anyone who has done so on any of my other posts that have been less-than-cheery.  I am genuinely touched by your sweet words and thoughts.  Not to get too dramatic, but it really does restore my faith in humanity when there are such kind souls that care enough to reach out to me with such words of encouragement and empathy.  And even if you didn't say anything, but still read my post(s), thank you for being so understanding and for taking the time to do so.

Have a great Thursday!

xox Sammi    

Cornucopia

Outfit Details:

Plant by Numbers Dress: ModCloth (no longer available... similar here, here and here)

Burgundy tights: not sure... similar here and here

Lady in Rad Boot in Camel: ModCloth (no longer available, similar here)

Necklace: Forever 21 (old)

Squirrel ring: Forever 21

Orange belt: ASOS

There are many times where I love seeing the different ways I can wear a specific piece.  I really do think there is something magical about remixing, especially when a piece is unique or tricky in some way.  But there are other times when I like to wear a particular piece in my closet a certain way, and end up styling it the exact same way every time I wear it.  This dress falls under the latter category, for some reason.  It's one of my favorite fall dresses.  I love the print (it reminds me so much of Thanksgiving, for some reason -- hence the post title), and it's super comfortable and flattering.  But I always end up wearing it with burgundy tights, these boots, and an orange belt (the dress came with a different orange belt, and it was so flimsy that it broke after one wear, so I went on a crazy orange belt hunt for a time).  In case you don't believe me, I wore this outfit very early on in my blogging, and I wore it the exact same way.  I will probably challenge myself to style this in a new way sometime soon (probably with a skirt over it), but this dress is kind of classically fall for me now, so I figured I should wear it in my favorite way the first time it came out of my closet this season.

I'm having trouble sleeping, and I have no doubt it's the result of anxiety, because logically, I should sleep like a baby every night with all the activity I'm doing.  I feel like I can't turn my mind off.  I knew this month would be difficult.  October was always my favorite month, and now I kind of can't wait until it's over, which makes me even sadder, really.  My birthday is in 5 days, and I sort of feel like it doesn't even matter.  I'm really glad I'm keeping so busy, because if I had to spend the whole day with my mind unoccupied (with the exception of these consuming thoughts), I'd probably lose it.  I'm desperately trying to stay positive and be my normal self, and I do succeed a lot of the time.  I'm constantly reminding myself of what I have to look forward to: hanging out with my cast mates on Friday, having a little birthday celebration on Saturday night, going out for tea with my mom and grandma on Sunday... getting a bunch of things to make over my room, thinking about taking a mini-vacation with my mom in January... these things cheer me up a little, but it's a little fleeting.  When you've made someone your world (whether he wants to believe that or not) for the better part of three years, you end up feeling very isolated when your world gets turned upside down.  I don't feel like I have very many people I can talk to, so I resort to writing down my rambling thoughts here.  Which is therapeutic in a way, but I don't want my blog to be a downer blog.  I want it to be a means of escape, for both myself and for those who read it.  I've always wanted it to be an upbeat, lovely fantasy place.  I want to get back to that, but I also want to be honest.  I'm trying to figure out that balance.  So please bear with me, friends.  I'll get back in the swing of things sooner or later (though I hope it's sooner).

   

Have a wonderful Wednesday.

xox Sammi   

Forever Autumn

Outfit Details:

Luck Be a Lady Dress in Autumn Plaid: ModCloth (similar here)

Brown velvet jacket: thrifted

Dessert Dash Flats in Cocoa: ModCloth

Diary handbag: Naputa's Secret Garden

Squirrel ring: Forever 21

I took these photos yesterday between rehearsals, and it was the first time in a while that I really felt like putting on something nice and stepping in front of the camera.  I came down with a bad cold right as my show was opening (luckily, we had enough days off in between shows that my voice was fine for performances), and between that and the whole breakup conundrum, I hadn't felt especially inspired or attractive.  But I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and the fact that I've been doing pretty well over the past few days.  I'm still struggling to come to terms with it all, especially when my mind isn't occupied.  I'm going to have bouts of sadness for a while, and in my experience, it's always been very difficult for me to get over someone if I can't be mad at the person in question.  After receiving a cold -- and frankly, just shitty -- response to a heartfelt email (which probably read more like a plea) I sent out of desperation and naïveté, I finally have a tangible reason to be at least a little bit angry.  Although my goal is to focus on the positive, I'm sort of thinking that a little bit of well-deserved fury can't hurt, either.  It's better than wallowing, at least. 

It helps that I'm in rehearsal all day for a touring show (based on the story of Hansel and Gretel), and then all night for the Rapunzel show.  I actually play an evil witch in both shows, which I love -- especially because it's kind of far-removed from my actual personality.  It's a welcome escape, and it feels good to feel like a "real" actor again.  I really like working at the box office for my day job, but it sometimes leaves me with too much time to think about things, and the chance to be absorbed in my acting work again couldn't have come at a better time.

Autumn is my favorite season (it doesn't hurt that my birthday is at the end of October -- though thinking about spending my 25th birthday alone is sort of depressing), and I am determined to not let it be spoiled by recent events.  I'll be damned if I can't enjoy sweater weather and crunchy leaves and warm, lovely drinks and all the beautiful smells and sights that I associate with fall.  I may not have him to go apple picking with... and I may no longer have a "Halloweeniversary"... but I refuse to give up on finding happiness where I can.  There are going to be a lot of sentimental (and stinging) thoughts within the next couple of months, but I'll just have to make new, joyful memories to take their place.

These leaves were super crunchy and I enjoyed every second of walking through them.

I thought this song was rather apropos in every way...

Have a lovely Thursday.
xox Sammi