Blueberries For Sal

As you may have realized, I've been planning most of my summer excursions around fruit picking. It's one of my favorite things to do. I love supporting local farms and orchards (and having fresh produce is always a plus), but I mostly enjoy having any excuse to spend time outside. I'm not a religious person, nor do I really identify as spiritual... but communing with nature is the way I feel close to something more than myself and it's sort of my gratitude practice, in a way. I never really thought about it in those terms until I started to write this post, but it makes sense that I would do everything possible to make time for it – especially when these warm days are so precious here.

Fruit picking also gives me the chance to spend time with people I love (and to dress thematically!). My mom and I had the chance to go blueberry picking during evening hours, which was a nice change. The experience reminded me of the picture book Blueberries For Sal – my mom's name is Sally and I have fond memories of us doing things like this as a kid. Of course, I had to wear this blueberry print dress from Collectif for the occasion. You know I can't resist a fruity novelty print frock!

Outfit Details

Mainline Eliza Blueberries Swing Dress: Collectif (other style here)

Necklace: similar  ||  Flats: similar

On a separate note, thank you so much to everyone who reached out to express their support for my newest venture, Dear Blossom Studios. In case you missed the big announcement, you can read all about it here. And be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram if you haven't already! You are all truly the best and I'm so excited about what's to come. Being able to focus on something new and creative has made all the difference these past few months. That's always been how I've gotten through heartbreak in the past and it feels apt that my newest project is all about blossoming and coming into one's own. 

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Dear Blossom Studios

I've been hinting over the past few months that I had something exciting in the works... and I can finally reveal what it is! My close friend and frequent collaborator, Emma, and I are starting a new venture: Dear Blossom Studios, a photography and content creation space located in the heart of the Flower City (our hometown of Rochester, NY)!

Both Emma and I have always loved the opportunity to take natural, captivating photos and to tell compelling stories through those images. We decided on the name Dear Blossom Studios to indicate our connection to nature and our desire to help others blossom into their best selves in front of the camera. I'm totally enamored with the name and with our branding, especially since I think it fits so perfectly with both of us individually and as a pair.

We've been working so hard to bring this beautiful space to life and to get everything ready to launch today. Our studio has two separate rooms and several great spots for shooting. We're starting out with senior portraits, headshots, and branding sessions, but we have a bunch of other fun offerings in the works to be launched in the near future. I'm also planning on using the studio space for my own photoshoots, videos, and brand content creation. I'm so excited for all of the possibilities and about working on something new and creative!

It would mean the world to me if you would check out our website, follow our Instagram, like our Facebook page, or share our posts with friends and family. Even if you're not based in Rochester or the surrounding area, your support can make a huge difference. (Plus, Emma often travels to photograph weddings and other events – so it's entirely possible that we could work together, no matter where you're located!) And if you have any questions, suggestions, or want to book a session, please don't hesitate to email us at hello@dearblossomstudios.com! 

It's been a tough year, but it's appropriate that I feel like I'm blossoming, too.

Monet at Mirbeau

Last month, my mom and I had a much-needed girls' getaway weekend in Skaneateles. Even though it's relatively close by, it was so nice to escape for a couple of days. We stayed at Mirbeau, a beautiful inn and spa, and treated ourselves to massages, luxurious baths, and delicious food. One of the real highlights for me, however, was getting to spend time in their gorgeous gardens.

We arrived just before the end of peony season, which made for a beautiful backdrop. The gardens are modeled loosely after Monet's gardens at Giverny (which is on my bucket list to see in real life someday), so I had to pack these two waterlily dresses from Bernie Dexter to match my surroundings.

Outfit Details

Dresses: Bernie Dexter (similar here)

Cropped cardigan: available here

Necklace: Macy's  ||  Hair flower: similar

White sandals: Naturalizer

I've been determined to make some great memories this summer – and this trip was certainly one of my favorites so far. The weeks are actually flying by and I was worried that I'd spend a lot of time being sad that this summer is so different from last year. But I'm realizing that's not such a bad thing after all. And while I still have bouts of feeling lonely and depressed, I mostly feel encouraged and excited about what's on the horizon. And lucky. I can't forget that.

Poppies

Normally, I love an outfit that instantly transports me back in time. But in some cases, a dress becomes so emotionally loaded that I can't wear it without traveling right back into a certain frame of mind. For better or for worse, this is one of those dresses.

The last time I wore this dress, I was in a special place I loved with a person I loved. The last time I wore this dress, I had a good day with that person, which was a rarer event than one might guess. The last time I wore this dress, I was 40 pounds heavier and my mind was heavy with worry all the time. Just because this dress fit me better back then doesn't mean that everything was a perfect fit. Both my body and my mind are lighter now, but my heart's still weighed down in a lot of ways.

The last time... I guess I decided that this was the last time. The last time I would let him take advantage of my kindness and my forgiveness and my openness. The last time I would cry in front of him and because of him. The last time I might ever see him. So I made it count and called him out and gave voice to the truths I had wanted to express for so long and acknowledged the stinging realizations that came on fast and remain stuck in my mind. The last time I would stand by and let him hurt someone else like me – someone who is probably willing to overlook mistakes and who finds the joy in everything and who is too trusting and who ignores the red flags and who has a lot going for her and who doesn't deserve to be subjected to anything as ugly as alcoholism can be. I'm paying a price for my honesty and for my courage, but I wasn't about to let this be like every other time when I looked past the nastiness and saw only the sweetness. Instead, I saw him for who he chose to be... and my heart broke even more. But at least now there's something else fueling me and moving me forward, rather than having an excuse to stay stuck and fixate on what's left behind.

Poppies are often used as a symbol of remembrance. I didn't plan this symbolism out when I shot these photos, but I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm finding significant meaning in what I'm wearing. Six months ago, I'd reminisce and romanticize the good things (however few and far between). Now, I'm reminded of all the bad things and of the worst versions of ourselves and I know I don't ever want to be in that position again. Poppies can also indicate sleep or death, but I feel more awake and more alive than I have in who knows how long, despite the fact that part of me is gone for good and I still find it hard to even breathe sometimes. But, appropriately enough, I guess that's what happens when you get hooked and when you finally remember what it feels like to not be under that influence anymore.

These flowers are also left on graves, so it's only fitting that I'm grieving. Mourning doesn't always look like or feel like what you'd expect. It isn't linear and it doesn't involve just one emotion and it doesn't fit neatly into a nice little box – which, in all its confusion, perfectly aligns with many of the other seemingly impossible situations I've encountered over the past three years. That doesn't make it any easier to understand or make the healing happen faster. But I know what I'm capable of – and I know that I will blossom anew again, in spite of it all.

Outfit Details

Chelsea Dress in Poppy Field: Bernie Dexter

Red Poppy Necklace: c/o Hop Skip & Flutter

Boater hat: similar  ||  Sandals: Naturalizer (half off!)

Be good to yourselves, my friends. You're all you've got.