Luck Be a Lady Dress in Autumn Plaid: ModCloth (similar here)
Brown velvet jacket: thrifted
Dessert Dash Flats in Cocoa: ModCloth
Diary handbag: Naputa's Secret Garden
Squirrel ring: Forever 21
I took these photos yesterday between rehearsals, and it was the first time in a while that I really felt like putting on something nice and stepping in front of the camera. I came down with a bad cold right as my show was opening (luckily, we had enough days off in between shows that my voice was fine for performances), and between that and the whole breakup conundrum, I hadn't felt especially inspired or attractive. But I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and the fact that I've been doing pretty well over the past few days. I'm still struggling to come to terms with it all, especially when my mind isn't occupied. I'm going to have bouts of sadness for a while, and in my experience, it's always been very difficult for me to get over someone if I can't be mad at the person in question. After receiving a cold -- and frankly, just shitty -- response to a heartfelt email (which probably read more like a plea) I sent out of desperation and naïveté, I finally have a tangible reason to be at least a little bit angry. Although my goal is to focus on the positive, I'm sort of thinking that a little bit of well-deserved fury can't hurt, either. It's better than wallowing, at least.
It helps that I'm in rehearsal all day for a touring show (based on the story of Hansel and Gretel), and then all night for the Rapunzel show. I actually play an evil witch in both shows, which I love -- especially because it's kind of far-removed from my actual personality. It's a welcome escape, and it feels good to feel like a "real" actor again. I really like working at the box office for my day job, but it sometimes leaves me with too much time to think about things, and the chance to be absorbed in my acting work again couldn't have come at a better time.
Autumn is my favorite season (it doesn't hurt that my birthday is at the end of October -- though thinking about spending my 25th birthday alone is sort of depressing), and I am determined to not let it be spoiled by recent events. I'll be damned if I can't enjoy sweater weather and crunchy leaves and warm, lovely drinks and all the beautiful smells and sights that I associate with fall. I may not have him to go apple picking with... and I may no longer have a "Halloweeniversary"... but I refuse to give up on finding happiness where I can. There are going to be a lot of sentimental (and stinging) thoughts within the next couple of months, but I'll just have to make new, joyful memories to take their place.
|These leaves were super crunchy and I enjoyed every second of walking through them.|
I thought this song was rather apropos in every way...
Have a lovely Thursday.