I gradually (and unofficially, I guess?) came to the conclusion a while back that I didn't want to pursue performing full-time. For a while, I was staying in Rochester because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be. That isn't really the case anymore. The weird thing is, it doesn't feel like I'm giving up a dream.
(Maybe because I've made new ones?) Being on Broadway or making a living as a working actress might have been what I really wanted for a while, but as I've gotten older (and hopefully wiser), my priorities have changed. I don't want to live in New York City. I don't want to work a survival job I hate in food service or at a temp agency just so I can go to auditions and face constant scrutiny and rejection. For a lot of people, the pay-off is well worth it; it just isn't for me, and
that's okay. I'll always love theatre and performing and still consider myself to be a highly creative artist who's capable of doing really great work. I put my degree to good use every day, and I've never once felt a twinge of regret for going down that path. I still agree to do only paid projects with peers who take their craft seriously. But now, I control how involved I am in the theatre world and am able to have a life outside of it. And I've found that that's a lot more personally fulfilling for me. I really admire my friends who are still pounding the pavement and are finding success in the professional world. I may be a little wistful for my youthful optimism, but I think my attitude towards my own path (i.e., not comparing it to anyone else's) is a lot healthier now than it used to be. The bottom line is that I'm happy with how things are going, even if they're totally different from how I envisioned them playing out.
That being said, I am – and always will be – a performer. So when I saw this stage curtain print skirt by Retrospec'd go on sale at
A Classic Paradise, I finally took the bait and made it mine. I love the fact that you might not notice what the print actually is at first, and then when you take a closer look, the detail is really extraordinary. It reminds me of book illustrations I used to love as a kid, actually. So I suppose this skirt may be all about nostalgia and magic for me. What could be better than that?
Outfit Details
Deadly Dames Jailbird Top: Pinup Girl Clothing
Have you ever been through anything similar? Is your life drastically different from what you thought it'd be? It always helps me to know I'm not the only one!
Have a wonderful Wednesday!
You sound a lot like me, actually! Similar minds, I suppose! I used to want to be a full time writer and published author. But I realize that choosing to devote my time 100% to getting published would be stupid - I'd be a "starving artist" and would have no steady income (unless I did what you said here, get a survival job) so I knew early on that even though it was a dream to be published, I'd rather work in a full time environment doing something I liked than struggle. I am in marketing and I really love what I do (event planning) even though it may not be my "dream" job. If I ever get published, it'll be the cherry on top is all!
ReplyDeleteThat aside, you look BEAUTIFUL! That top is such a staple but it's quite a flattering cut! I love these photos - your hair is rocking! Did you get it freshly colored? It looks a bit bolder/redder and I love it!!
You look amazing! I love how bright the red is.
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Not sure if I'd ever mentioned it, but I was a theatre major in college and went through a similar conclusion too. I loved theatre, but didn't necessarily want the lifestyle that would have to come with it (the side jobs, the big city and constant scrutiny). Like you though, I've found a way to still have theatre in my life- I have several units I teach my classes that involve the theatre (they are doing a kids version of Midsummers right now). I think not everything we love has to be the main career of our lives, and I so love the way you are doing it now- controlling how much it is in your life rather than it controlling what happens in your life.
ReplyDeleteAlso- this skirt is perfect. Cheeky and fun but also a bit subtle!
I know exactly what you mean. I went through a very similiar realization when I was in grad school and decided not to finish my higher degree in Cinema Studies. It was the first time that I ever majorly didn't finish something or pursue farther something that was once really important to me and yet I didn't feel at all like I was giving up. Like you I sat back and really looked at what my life would most likely look like if I were to continue and realized that it actually wasn't at all what I wanted for my life. While I still love cinema studies I realized my dream of it was a fantasy version and not the reality version people actually get in real life.
ReplyDeleteI love this skirt that you found! It really is the perfect skirt for you! I love the print which is such a pretty abstract print to the untrained eye made all the more amazing that it is theater curtains when you really look at it <3 Glad you got it!
LOVE that shade of red, so eye-catching and romantic. This entire outfit goes so well together!
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I totally get that. I too decided living in NYC and writing as a full time career (while I do retail...) was not for me, I needed to make new dreams.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you feel like you can breathe a bit more with the choices you've made to step back from doing theater full time! It's always so nice when we figure out the right choice, even if it isn't the one we always thought we'd take.
ReplyDeleteYou look GORGEOUS in this outfit. That skirt is just perfect for you!