Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Let it Snow

bernie dexter winter wonderland dress
All images by Emma Rizzo Photo

It's exactly one week until Christmas, so I thought it was high time to post at least one holiday outfit here on my blog. I've been posting more frequently on Instagram than on my blog lately, but I still love this space and think it's important to document things here... especially during one of my favorite times of the year!

bernie dexter
bernie dexter dress
christmas dress
vintage christmas dress
bettie bangs

This dress is an old one – I actually styled it five(!) years ago in this blog post. But it's probably my favorite dress that I've ever owned and I can finally fit into it again, which is a thrill. I convinced Emma to venture out to a Christmas tree farm with me to take some photos on a freezing-cold and icy day. She worked her magic like always, though!

bernie dexter clothing
christmas the soubrette brunette
christmas tree farm rochester ny
Outfit Details
Dress: Bernie Dexter (other styles here)
Necklace: similar  ||  Hair flower: Stardust Dames
emma rizzo photo

Things have been really busy this season, but they've been generally good. My life has changed a lot in the last year and I feel grateful to be where I am now. I'm looking forward to having a relaxing and special Christmas with my parents. We'll be doing our traditional hors-d'oeuvres-and-present-opening on Christmas Eve and we'll be seeing a movie and going out for Chinese on Christmas Day. What are your annual holiday traditions?


Make sure to follow me on Instagram so you don't miss any of my other holiday outfits that I don't end up posting here! And if I don't get a chance to update again before the 25th, have a very happy holiday!

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Monet at Mirbeau

mirbeau inn and spa skaneateles

Last month, my mom and I had a much-needed girls' getaway weekend in Skaneateles. Even though it's relatively close by, it was so nice to escape for a couple of days. We stayed at Mirbeau, a beautiful inn and spa, and treated ourselves to massages, luxurious baths, and delicious food. One of the real highlights for me, however, was getting to spend time in their gorgeous gardens.

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mirbeau
pink peonies new york state
mirbeau gardens monet
monet gardens mirbeau
bernie dexter monet waterlily dress
mirbeau monet bridge
floral dress bernie dexter

We arrived just before the end of peony season, which made for a beautiful backdrop. The gardens are modeled loosely after Monet's gardens at Giverny (which is on my bucket list to see in real life someday), so I had to pack these two waterlily dresses from Bernie Dexter to match my surroundings.

bernie dexter dress
waterlilies mirbeau
waterlily dress
pink peony upstate ny
monet print dress
mirbeau inn and spa skaneateles ny
vintage retro floral dress
Outfit Details
Dresses: Bernie Dexter (similar here)
Cropped cardigan: available here
Necklace: Macy's  ||  Hair flower: similar
White sandals: Naturalizer

bun with bettie bangs

I've been determined to make some great memories this summer – and this trip was certainly one of my favorites so far. The weeks are actually flying by and I was worried that I'd spend a lot of time being sad that this summer is so different from last year. But I'm realizing that's not such a bad thing after all. And while I still have bouts of feeling lonely and depressed, I mostly feel encouraged and excited about what's on the horizon. And lucky. I can't forget that.

peonies rochester ny

Monday, July 8, 2019

Poppies

bernie dexter poppy dress

Normally, I love an outfit that instantly transports me back in time. But in some cases, a dress becomes so emotionally loaded that I can't wear it without traveling right back into a certain frame of mind. For better or for worse, this is one of those dresses.

bernie dexter poppy field dress

The last time I wore this dress, I was in a special place I loved with a person I loved. The last time I wore this dress, I had a good day with that person, which was a rarer event than one might guess. The last time I wore this dress, I was 40 pounds heavier and my mind was heavy with worry all the time. Just because this dress fit me better back then doesn't mean that everything was a perfect fit. Both my body and my mind are lighter now, but my heart's still weighed down in a lot of ways.

bernie dexter chelsea dress

The last time... I guess I decided that this was the last time. The last time I would let him take advantage of my kindness and my forgiveness and my openness. The last time I would cry in front of him and because of him. The last time I might ever see him. So I made it count and called him out and gave voice to the truths I had wanted to express for so long and acknowledged the stinging realizations that came on fast and remain stuck in my mind. The last time I would stand by and let him hurt someone else like me – someone who is probably willing to overlook mistakes and who finds the joy in everything and who is too trusting and who ignores the red flags and who has a lot going for her and who doesn't deserve to be subjected to anything as ugly as alcoholism can be. I'm paying a price for my honesty and for my courage, but I wasn't about to let this be like every other time when I looked past the nastiness and saw only the sweetness. Instead, I saw him for who he chose to be... and my heart broke even more. But at least now there's something else fueling me and moving me forward, rather than having an excuse to stay stuck and fixate on what's left behind.

poppy flower necklace
vintage rockabilly pinup dress

Poppies are often used as a symbol of remembrance. I didn't plan this symbolism out when I shot these photos, but I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm finding significant meaning in what I'm wearing. Six months ago, I'd reminisce and romanticize the good things (however few and far between). Now, I'm reminded of all the bad things and of the worst versions of ourselves and I know I don't ever want to be in that position again. Poppies can also indicate sleep or death, but I feel more awake and more alive than I have in who knows how long, despite the fact that part of me is gone for good and I still find it hard to even breathe sometimes. But, appropriately enough, I guess that's what happens when you get hooked and when you finally remember what it feels like to not be under that influence anymore.

hop skip and flutter necklace
retro girl vintage bangs

These flowers are also left on graves, so it's only fitting that I'm grieving. Mourning doesn't always look like or feel like what you'd expect. It isn't linear and it doesn't involve just one emotion and it doesn't fit neatly into a nice little box – which, in all its confusion, perfectly aligns with many of the other seemingly impossible situations I've encountered over the past three years. That doesn't make it any easier to understand or make the healing happen faster. But I know what I'm capable of – and I know that I will blossom anew again, in spite of it all.

bernie dexter vintage dress
Outfit Details
Chelsea Dress in Poppy Field: Bernie Dexter
Red Poppy Necklace: c/o Hop Skip & Flutter
Boater hat: similar  ||  Sandals: Naturalizer (half off!)

poppy necklace hop skip and flutter
bernie dexter
Be good to yourselves, my friends. You're all you've got.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Peonies

bernie dexter jodi pink taffy dress

Lilacs and peonies are my two favorite flowers in the entire world. They happen to bloom one right after the other most of the time, which means I try to soak them up in May and June. If and when I get married, I'll have those fragrant, pastel blooms everywhere. I already featured lilacs this year (see this post if you missed it!), but I had yet to post my peony-themed photos. It's been hard to find time to edit photos these days, so I'm finally sharing them today!

bernie dexter jodi dress
pale pink dress
bernie dexter pink dress

The Tree Peony Festival takes place every year at Linwood Gardens, but my mom and I had never been before. I knew we had to make the trip this year, though. Linwood is an absolutely beautiful estate with a huge selection of Japanese and American tree peonies. The garden is private, but they open it up during the festival and some other days throughout the summer. We spent the most tranquil morning there exploring! And of course, I had to wear this pale pink Bernie Dexter dress to match my surroundings. :)

pastel pink vintage dress
peony bouquet
pastel pink pinup dress
peony festival linwood gardens
pink retro dress

I'd never owned this Jodi dress style before, but I've longed for this print since it came out. It's known as the pink taffy print, but it also reminds me of pastel ribbon candy. Either way, I absolutely love it. I did order up in this style – I'm between sizes in Bernie dresses right now, and I usually err on the size of ordering up to have enough room in the bust. That was definitely the right decision. I felt like a total fairy princess in this outfit, especially with the addition of this vintage hat!

pink princess dress
vintage flower hat
bernie dexter
Outfit Details
Jodi Dress in Pink Taffy Print: Bernie Dexter
Vintage flower hat: Buttons and Bows  ||  Peony bouquet: similar
Dogwood flower necklace: similar  ||  Flats: Aerosoles

pale pink dress ballerina

If you want to find out more about Linwood Gardens, give their Facebook page a "like!" 
What are some of your favorite flowers?

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Have a great week – and stop back on Friday for something fun! ;)
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