Winter... brought a couple of fun shows and the ability to start trusting, letting go, and taking things as they come. For the first time, I felt okay with just allowing things to pan out. Although a lot of aspects of my life were in limbo, I think that's always been an important step in finding my way.
Spring... brought a few adventures and a really fun role in a really fun show. But I also started to feel overwhelmed with anxiety around this time. The pressure to find a new job and move out was mounting, and the physical demands of the show I was in resulted in a couple of injuries. I knew I needed to make some major changes but all I wanted to do was hide under the covers. And yet, when everything seemed to be falling apart, I got off my butt and made some things happen. I feel proud of myself for that.
Summer... was hard. I went through an unofficial breakup of sorts. My best friend was hours away in Boston awaiting a kidney transplant, and the person I spent most of my free time with wasn't talking to me anymore. I suddenly felt very lonely and tried to stay busy as a result. I started working at a job I hated, but it did allow me to find a lovely apartment. I lost ten pounds, but only because I was sad and depressed and needed to do something physical to relieve my anxiety. Basically, it was a season of growing pains. In retrospect, I know I am much better and stronger for having gone through them.
Autumn... was when I finally found my footing. I was hired as a content writer (a dream job I never knew I wanted!) at the end of August, and I started feeling more confident about where my life was heading. That same month, I reconnected with the guy I'm dating now, and we made our relationship *~*official*~* by fall. Things are a lot different now, for the most part. My priorities may have changed a lot in the last few years, but for the first time, my perspective has changed, too. I don't look at those shifts with regret. I may be stressed and drained of energy, but I'm not wishing for other sources of fulfillment. I still love performing, but I'm not currently yearning for much more than I have. And although I always want to keep learning and evolving, I feel pretty content with the way my life is right now.
That being said, I still have a few resolutions for the new year.
- For the first time ever, I have a health insurance plan through my place of employment – which means I can afford a gym membership! This year, I want to make my health a priority and make regular exercise a part of my routine. It's a definitely necessity for me right now both physically and emotionally.
- I'm planning on going back on Weight Watchers as well. This isn't because I have a certain weight loss goal in mind, but because I generally feel a lot better when I eat healthy foods. Plus, there are a lot of clothes I'm not wearing because they don't fit or I don't feel confident due to how I look in them. That's really the main thing I want to accomplish here: to feel great about the way I look.
- I want to keep my place a lot cleaner and stay on top of household duties. When I get lazy, I end up feeling a lot more anxious due to the mess. I want to feel refreshed and relaxed when I walk into a room rather than overwhelmed.
- Other things I'd like to do: learn how to sew, take a trip with Ashley, improve my photography, do some more writing on the side, be in a show I've been dying to do, go away for a weekend, read at least six books, and as always, remember to be grateful and to find the joy.
Did you make any resolutions this year? What about your NYE plans? I'm not sure how I'll be spending my New Year's Eve yet, but I'm hoping for something cozy. I may love getting dolled up, but I'd much rather snuggle up with my honey than guzzle champagne. Whatever you do tonight, I hope you have fun – and have a safe and happy 2017!