Easy as pie

Outfit Details:

My Kind of Pie Dress: ModCloth

Tangerine spectators: BAIT Footwear

Fork and knife necklaces: ASOS (similar styles here)

Lemon pie ring: Citrus Couture

White belt: eBay

These photos are from a few weeks ago (before autumn really took hold), but I still wanted to post them because I really love this outfit!  I'd been waiting for this dress to come back in stock at ModCloth FOREVER; I was starting to think it would never come back!  When it did, I ordered it immediately (how could I not?).  The print is absolutely perfect.  I was nervous about the top half fitting (I sometimes have problems with shirt dresses/gaping buttons/etc.), and though it's a little snug, it fits and doesn't have any weird gaps, so I was very relieved!

I'm starting to feel more and more like myself again.  I'm a perfectionist, so whenever something is a little "off" with me (emotionally or physically), I get very frustrated when I don't immediately feel normal again.  I'm not a very patient person, to be honest.  And rationally, I know time heals all wounds.  But for now, I'm just keeping my mind occupied, and taking stock of all the things that make me happy these days, like:

- this dress

- rehearsals & feeling like a real actor again

- feeling physically well again, after having been sick

- making new friends

- reconnecting with old friends

- being surrounded by kind, supportive people

- changing leaves

- sunshine

- sweater weather

- new blogging opportunities (more on this soon!)

- resisting food-related indulgences 

- challenging myself 

- feeling pretty again

- planning to redecorate my room

- getting a nice review of our Fringe Festival show

- laughing

- the smells of autumn

- having "good skin" days

- lots of blankets on my bed

- hot showers

- my kitty cat

- making money

- living in the present

- being open to lots of possibilities

Have a lovely Sunday!

xox Sammi

Forever Autumn

Outfit Details:

Luck Be a Lady Dress in Autumn Plaid: ModCloth (similar here)

Brown velvet jacket: thrifted

Dessert Dash Flats in Cocoa: ModCloth

Diary handbag: Naputa's Secret Garden

Squirrel ring: Forever 21

I took these photos yesterday between rehearsals, and it was the first time in a while that I really felt like putting on something nice and stepping in front of the camera.  I came down with a bad cold right as my show was opening (luckily, we had enough days off in between shows that my voice was fine for performances), and between that and the whole breakup conundrum, I hadn't felt especially inspired or attractive.  But I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and the fact that I've been doing pretty well over the past few days.  I'm still struggling to come to terms with it all, especially when my mind isn't occupied.  I'm going to have bouts of sadness for a while, and in my experience, it's always been very difficult for me to get over someone if I can't be mad at the person in question.  After receiving a cold -- and frankly, just shitty -- response to a heartfelt email (which probably read more like a plea) I sent out of desperation and naïveté, I finally have a tangible reason to be at least a little bit angry.  Although my goal is to focus on the positive, I'm sort of thinking that a little bit of well-deserved fury can't hurt, either.  It's better than wallowing, at least. 

It helps that I'm in rehearsal all day for a touring show (based on the story of Hansel and Gretel), and then all night for the Rapunzel show.  I actually play an evil witch in both shows, which I love -- especially because it's kind of far-removed from my actual personality.  It's a welcome escape, and it feels good to feel like a "real" actor again.  I really like working at the box office for my day job, but it sometimes leaves me with too much time to think about things, and the chance to be absorbed in my acting work again couldn't have come at a better time.

Autumn is my favorite season (it doesn't hurt that my birthday is at the end of October -- though thinking about spending my 25th birthday alone is sort of depressing), and I am determined to not let it be spoiled by recent events.  I'll be damned if I can't enjoy sweater weather and crunchy leaves and warm, lovely drinks and all the beautiful smells and sights that I associate with fall.  I may not have him to go apple picking with... and I may no longer have a "Halloweeniversary"... but I refuse to give up on finding happiness where I can.  There are going to be a lot of sentimental (and stinging) thoughts within the next couple of months, but I'll just have to make new, joyful memories to take their place.

These leaves were super crunchy and I enjoyed every second of walking through them.

I thought this song was rather apropos in every way...

Have a lovely Thursday.
xox Sammi

Meow mix

Outfit Details:

Start Spreading the Mews Dress: ModCloth

The Dream of the Crop Cardigan in Pink: ModCloth
Hot air balloon necklace: Sweet and Lovely

Black belt: from another dress

Black flats: JC Penney

I have a backlog of photos I took before my breakup occurred, and since I have been incredibly busy and haven't been in the best mindset to take new outfit photos since then, I decided to go ahead and use some for this post.  I really want to thank each and every person who commented with such kind, supportive things on my last post.  It means the world to me that so many people -- whom I've never even met -- care enough to reach out with such sweet sentiments.  I have been trying to stay distracted, but I'm afraid that this has caused me to sweep things under the rug a little bit; I feel like I'm more in denial about the situation, rather than accepting it and trying to move on from it.  But I guess the stages of grief don't really happen in a linear fashion, so I can't fault myself for the way I'm dealing with it.

In non-heartbreak news, my show opens tonight as part of the Rochester Fringe Festival.  I've been dealt a kind of rough hand, after coming down with a pretty significant cold on Sunday night, but I'm still determined to power through.  Luckily, we get a little bit of a break between our opening night and our second show, so hopefully what's left of my sickness will be gone for our last two shows.  We were featured on the local news this week with a little interview and performance clip.  If you're interested in taking a look, you can see the segment here!

I was also cast in a production of a musical called My Son Pinocchio (based on Disney's Pinocchio and on this weird movie called Gepetto that starred Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Drew Carey, of all people) with a local children's theatre.  I'll be playing the part of the Blue Fairy, which will be really fun.  I love playing magical characters, and it'll be nice to go from playing an evil witch this fall to a well-meaning fairy this spring.

I'm trying to focus on the positive things in my life right now, and not dwell on the stuff with which I'm struggling.  The early mornings and late evenings are the hardest.  I still can't really believe that my relationship is over.  However, even I'm surprised at how resilient I've proved to be thus far.  Yes, things affect me in different ways now, and I can get choked up at the drop of a hat.  But I think I have managed to stay pretty strong, in spite of how vulnerable I feel.

Again, I hope you all know how much I appreciate your support and kindness.  Knowing that there are such wonderful people in this blogosphere is a very comforting thought.

xox Sammi